Pauline Matthews Dip Couns. MBACP

When we think of lonely people, we usually imagine single people sitting by themselves. Would it surprise you if you heard that many lonely people are in long-term relationships and yet are very, very unhappy?

People who were once in love and crazy about each other may grow old and bored with each other. Life has a way of changing us so that things we loved to do once may bore us as we grow older. What if the people we live with grow away from us emotionally?
There are many other reasons why we may feel alienated from people in our own household. Addictions, Adultery, Abuse, etc are some of the reasons why people remain private in their misery. Taking care of a baby, or an ailing relative, sick children, etc can also drive one to desperation.

Some people remain in dysfunctional marriages because of cultural pressures, religious, economical or ethical reasons or other reasons such as fear of change or fear of living independently.
The aftermath of such devastating relationships where love is absent is that the two people involved live like strangers in their own home.

Communciation is the key to bringing the relationship back to life! And by communication I don’t mean talking only, but also sharing experiences together and finding that connection again that seemed to have been lost for such a long time.If you feel that your partner is not opening up or discussing his/her problems with you, it may be helpful to see a  counsellor

People cope with the loss of a loved one in many ways. For some, the experience may lead to personal growth, even though it is a difficult and trying time. There is no right way of coping with death. The way a person grieves depends on the personality of that person and the relationship with the person who has died.

Loss covers a much wider area than bereavement. A person can experience the feelings of loss through the loss of a job, loss of good health as in a chronic illness, loss of children when they grow up and move away or get married. In fact sometimes it is thought that all visits to the counsellor are related to some sort of loss.

More and more we are understanding that bullying and mobbing don't just apply to children or in the school yard, but occur in adults, in the workplace and other settings. And, the consequences of bullying for both children and adults are high. Bullying can have a significant long term affect on how children develop. Also, victims of bullying in the workplace may experiences psychological illnesses, loss of income, and even physical problems

Sexual difficulties may begin early in a person's life, or they may develop after an individual has previously experienced enjoyable and satisfying sex. A problem may develop gradually over time, or may occur suddenly as a total or partial inability to participate in one or more stages of the sexual act. The causes of sexual difficulties can be physical, psychological, or both.

Emotional factors affecting sex include both interpersonal problems and psychological problems within the individual. Interpersonal problems include marital or relationship problems, or lack of trust and open communication between partners. Personal psychological problems include depression, sexual fears or guilt, or past sexual trauma.

If you have read through all of this it may become apparent that all the initial words used are connected in some way. This is also true of life and it is why it is very difficult sometimes to see 'the wood for the trees' when you are in the 'thick of it'. A counsellor can help to sort through the tangle of emotions so that you can see a way forward.

To return to the home page click here  HOME